The Gift of Tears

She sat and caressed the soft white face of the gentle old giant she had known her entire five years of life. Our old Great Pyrenees stretched out her tired paw and rested it in the lap of our granddaughter Lilley.

I sat next to Lilley, my own tears washing my sadness. “It’s okay to cry,” I whispered to her. “God gave us tears to help us when we are sad.”

And with that, she wept. Freely.


Tears—an often-confusing gift. We cry when we are happy, angry, tired, hungry, hurt, relieved, afraid.

Oftentimes, as parents, we are hesitant to cry in front our children. We don’t want them to worry about us or be insecure because they need us to always be “okay.”

Just as we tell happy stories of childhood and testimonies of answered prayers, we can speak freely of sorrows past and how God brought peace to our aching hearts. We can tell of the ways God kept his promise to bring good from difficulty to those who love and trust him (from Romans 8:28-29).

We don’t need to be afraid to ask God for wisdom to cry appropriately in front of our children and grandchildren. Instead, we can understand that tears are an opportunity to teach our children about God’s gift of emotions.

They are also an opportunity to point our children to Scriptures that tell of others who knew the mixed blessing of tears:

  • Hannah wept bitterly before the LORD (from 1 Samuel 1:10).
  • God heard the cries of young Ishmael as he lay under a shrub in the dessert and his mom, Hagar, as she “lifted her voice and wept” (from Genesis 21:17-18).
  • Nehemiah wept and fasted for many days when he learned that the Hebrew people who survived captivity were living in distress and vulnerable because the walls of the great city of Jerusalem were in disrepair (from Nehemiah 1:3-4).
  • Our Savior, the Son of God, wept when Mary fell at his feet heartbroken because of her brother’s death (from John 11:32-35).

As adults, we know sorrow is inevitable. A necessary part of living, growing, and learning. Through living the truth of God’s Word, we can teach our children that there is a time and place for everything under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:4-5).

We can use moments of hurt as stepping stones to understand that God doesn’t leave us alone in our pain. Our sweet girls and boys do not have to feel lost when they are sad or confused or alone or disappointed. God wants us to direct our tears to him. He hears and comes to our side.

So when our children experience loss, as with the death of a pet, we have the opportunity to strengthen their faith for the day they weep over a greater loss.


Our gentle giant the old Great Pyrenees slipped away just a few days after Lilley and I shared our tears. When her parents told her that her fluffy friend was gone, Lilley went to her room and, once again, wept freely.

Even now we often talk about Nala and how thankful we are God gave her to us, and I am confident the tears shed together are a part of the foundation of faith being laid in Lilley’s heart.

God gave us the gift of tears. We don’t have to be afraid to cry.

(Cover photo courtesy of Erik Witsoe on Unsplash)

in the Quiver

6 thoughts on “The Gift of Tears

  1. Shelley, thank you for the sweet example of you and your granddaughter sharing grief and this important lesson: “We can use moments of hurt as stepping stones to understand that God doesn’t leave us alone in our pain.” Each challenge we face offers an opportunity to demonstrate God’s faithfulness as you illustrated so beautifully in your post. Thank you.

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  2. It took me many years to allow myself to cry freely; I am still working on crying openly. Learning God’s Word helped me release that knot in my throat and receive the relief that comes as a result. Your story will help many find that same relief in Christ.

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  3. Great post Ms. Shelley. Regardless of our age, or the reason, God understands our tears and comes near to comfort, revel, or sorrow with us. Read recently, that dependent upon the kinds of tears (joyous, anger, sorrow, etc.) we shed, each has a different chemical makeup from the others. Only God my friend.

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    1. Wow, you are correct JD! I have not read that study but it doesn’t surprise me. He is able, in every way, to meet our unspoken needs! He is faithful!

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