My husband and I have chosen to keep our children’s pictures off social media, and believe me, I’ve gotten plenty of eye rolls and blank stares because of it. These reactions aren’t really surprising when you consider the everything-must-be-captured-and-shared-instantly-for-the-whole-world-to-see culture in which we live. After all, if you don’t share pictures of your children online, do those same children even exist?
All joking aside, I know everyone approaches this topic differently. If you’ve decided to share pictures on social media, not share at all, or have found a nice in-between kind of balance, then that’s great. But if you’re on the fence, take a look at the questions below to help you make a decision that works best for your family when thinking through how much to share.
1. Could this picture embarrass my child later?
That picture of your sweet little cherub trying to navigate the choppy waters of potty training is sweet and adorable now, but your little one won’t be so little forever. Just because your child is young, does that mean he should have private pictures posted without his consent? What happens when your child is a teenager and she realizes there are 1,534 pictures of her childhood that 500 of your closest friends have seen?
2.Could this photo negatively impact my child’s future?
More and more potential employers and even college/university admissions offices are looking to social media for additional information on applicants. Could the pictures you are posting somehow impact your child’s education or work endeavors in any way?
3.Does this photo provide viewers with identifying information?
Does the photo include identifiable landmarks? Addresses? Store fronts? Does your photo’s caption tell viewers exactly which park you went to and that you like to go to this park every Wednesday at 10 a.m.?
Even if you exclude all such information from photos and captions, it’s not difficult to figure out the when and where of a picture. Considering the GPS location tracking in smartphones as well as the facial recognition software that exists, the possibility of pinpointing specific locations is not farfetched. One simple step towards safety in this area would be to disable or deactivate the location services on your phone. That way your family’s location is not being broadcast to strangers.
4.What is my motivation for posting this picture?
This question might be a little harder to ask (it definitely was for me), but it’s an important one. Be honest—there’s something kind of thrilling about seeing your photos get a ton of likes and comments. I mean, you know that your child is God’s gift to this earth, so others should know it too, right? And we all know that “likes” directly correlate to your child’s intrinsic value as well as your success as a parent.
Am I being facetious? Ok, yeah. But seriously, think about it—is the high of social bragging what fuels your desire to post these photos? Are you posting out of a sense of competition? To show that your life is more “together” than someone else’s? Something to think about.
5.Who has the ability to see this picture?
What are your privacy settings on Facebook or Instagram? Can only your friends view pictures, or are they open to the public? Also consider this: if your friend posts a picture of your child, and she has 500 other followers/friends, then that’s 500 other people you may or may not know who can now see your child.
Let’s take it a step further. Online predators are far more common than many of us realize. It’s estimated that more than 50,000 sexual predators are online at any given moment*. Once a picture is out there on the internet, it’s there forever. All it takes is a screenshot, and a complete stranger can gather his or her own personal library of pictures of your children. You may have the best of intentions when sharing photos, but predators have no respect of good intentions. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in, and it’s no longer realistic to assume that everyone viewing our photos is doing so in innocence.
So What Now?
Here’s where you decide what works best for your family. For my husband and I, it means that if we really want to share pictures with someone, we send them directly to friends and family via text or email or a private Instagram account where I have a limited number of followers, all of whom I know and trust. Setting this boundary has actually been quite freeing for us, and keeping more of our family’s special moments private has been very meaningful—especially in a world where nothing seems private anymore.
Is it possible for us to post pictures on social media and never have a problem with the above concerns? Yeah, maybe. But when it comes down to it, we’re just not willing to take the chance.
And at the end of the day, I think my 1,000 closest Facebook friends will be just fine with a few less photos in their newsfeeds.
in the Quiver
9 thoughts on “5 Questions to Ask Before Posting Your Child’s Picture Online”
Shared Ms. Mary. While I’m a long way from having children photos to post, I think this is a subject we should all consider. Social media has a long tail; so just like I caution folks about emails, ‘As yourself would you want this viewed by your spouse, or worse your Mom, ten years from now.” Thanks for sharing ma’am.
Those are good long-term questions to ask!
Mary, I always love your writing, and really appreciate this. Tough call for us with grandchildren as well. Great information and food for thought.
You shared an important issue, Mary. We do not share photos of our grandchildren for reasons you mentioned. Thinking that views of pictures we post are limited to sweet folks we know is naive. Thanks, Mary, for wise advice.
Another reason I like not posting is that when I do share pictures with friends in person, I feel like they genuinely enjoy seeing them – instead of being irritated at seeing even MORE pictures of my kids haha!
This is an important issue in our society now. Loved reading your perspective on it! Thanks.
As others noted, this is a valid perspective to consider. I appreciate your wisdom in providing excellent data for consideration balanced with leaving the decision in the hands of your reader.